


A Leap of Fate

by emillywinter



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Denial of Feelings, Drunkenness, First Kiss, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Secret Crush, Urban Legends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-15 07:58:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16058879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emillywinter/pseuds/emillywinter
Summary: Ikebukuro has always been known for its urban legends. The black rider has become old news. Now, everybody is talking about a mysterious taxi driver who does not take people where they want to go, but where they need to be. One night, Izaya steps into this cab.





	1. Chapter 1

**A Leap of Fate**

It is a regular day in Ikebukuro. And, it is a regular day in Shinjuku. Orihara Izaya sits on his chair, reads posts on various forums, and gathers information... You know, a regular day. Recently, he has heard about a mysterious taxi driver who does not take people where they want to go, but where they need to go. To him it is a bit ridiculous, but who knows; this is Ikebukuro, and urban legends have lived here for as long as he has breathed.

So, he investigates. He bites his ego down and asks Shinichi Tsukumoya for help. He visits various web pages, countless forums, and a lot of different chat rooms. He talks to people; young people, old people, everyone really who has seen the taxi and took a drive in it. The stories are constantly changing and he doesn’t know what to believe in. So, he takes numerous taxi drives. His wallet is a bit lighter, but he guesses it will pay off eventually. 

One day he manages to catch it. Nothing really happened that was out of the ordinary. Izaya gave one address and arrived at the other. The driver was an older gentleman that hasn’t spoken a word to him the entire drive. He himself hasn’t spoken a word about anything either. The whole ride he was researching about the vehicle he was riding in, without actually knowing it. Nevertheless, when the taxi stopped, he paid and went out. 

So, he now stands in front of a movie theatre. He doesn’t understand why he needs to be here, but he is so exacted and he really wants to find out. Almost jumping with his every step, he buys a ticket and goes in. There are only a few people and the room looks almost empty. The movie has already started and it is a cheesy one about two boys who are friends, but secretly in love with each other.

He doesn’t want to think about love. It is easier to say that you love whole humanity instead a person who yells that he hates you and that he will kill you. He also hates to be vulnerable and having someone know the truth will make him a laughing stock, so he keeps it for himself. He suspects that Shinra knows, but the doctor also knows how to keep his mouth closed. Moreover, it helps that Izaya has additional security measures neatly tucked in his office in a glass jar. So, there is that. 

Izaya quickly returns to his mission, wanting to find out a reason why he is here in the first place. Even though the situation is interesting, the movie isn’t. And, he quickly moves his attention from the big screen to the individuals sitting around him, trying to see them even though the room is only lighten by the said screen. 

Honestly, he can’t see a thing. There are a few girls in the front, two couples and one old man. If Izaya had looked behind him, at the corner, in the last row, he would see a man with blond hair trying to keep his appearance a secret. He has seen the other entering the room; he even smelled him. He is angry, but he is having a night for himself, indulging in something that should not be indulged. Boys love is for someone like that Erica girl, not for an Ikebukuro’s monster. 

He rarely does this anyway. He hates that he is not normal, that he does not like girls. There are so many things about him that are not normal and this simply is a cherry on top of the cake. The world does not need to know that he is secretly gay. Orihara Izaya especially does not need to know this; not when their whole mutual hatred is based on Shizuo’s homophobic tendencies. 

He has seen Izaya even before they have met. He looked at him from afar. His heart would always beat faster when he would meet the red eyes; when he would look in a window just to note that he was watched in return. The Izaya’s smell alone was something that made him hard instantly; he smelled like wood, dark leather, danger and blood. Shizuo hated it.

So, when he saw a person that made him feel so wrong it was easier to say “I hate you” than anything else. Even now the attraction hasn’t gone away. It only grew until it became so unbearable that he always feels dirty, and broken, and almost wants to die from the pain he feels whenever he sees those beautiful eyes. The smell still makes his blood hot and he still gets so angry when he sees the other. He will kill Izaya; just not now.

Izaya doesn’t know why he is here. The movie is terrible and he doesn’t recognize anyone. He doesn’t see why he needs to be here. He can’t understand anything. Izaya doesn’t know a love even when he hits a giant sigh with the actual words spelled for him, so he leaves the theatre and decides that whole rumor is just that, a rumor.

He arrives at his apartment long after Namie went home. It is already too late and he feels so washed out. He has walked all the way from Ikebukuro because he decided that he now hates all taxi drivers. He hits the shower and just as he is drying his hair with the white fluffy towel, a text message comes. The screen reads:

Shinichi Tsukumoya: _Today I gained the information you asked for. The taxi is a real deal._

Izaya starts to laugh. It is just like him to miss a chance. After all, he did a same thing all those years ago when he had met _him_. But, in a city where urban legends exist, he knows that he will find the cab again. Perhaps, he will find out, even tomorrow, what has been in stored for him. So, he takes a leap of fate as he tucks himself in his cold, empty bed and closes his eyes. 

The same as every night for the last ten years, he dreams of a smile that is not meant for him. He dreams of warm eyes, blond hair and strong arms keeping him safe. The same as every morning for the last ten years, he wakes up with a tear stained pillow and hates himself for loving a monster who won’t ever love him in return.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Shizuo has heard about this taxi that does not take you where you want to go, but where you need to be. He is sure that Celty has mentioned it before; perhaps, in one of their talks. It isn’t really news for him; Ikebukuro has always been a strange town with strange things in it. He doesn’t think about it, doesn’t really give it much thought, until one day he steps into it and he is taken to a location that doesn’t have anything to do with where he wants to be.

He doesn’t want to pay really. He gets angry and starts to yell things to the taxi driver. It is an older gentleman and, even if Shizuo respects his elders, there is something odd about this person. All of his instincts are screaming that this person has something planed; something that doesn’t necessarily need to be bad, but rather something that is secret and that has a deeper meaning than simply taking strangers from one place to the next. He demands to know why he is in front of the luxurious restaurant and not in front of café where he was suppose to meet Kasuka for a late night coffee.

The man smiles and even though it is not a creepy smile per se, it still holds a message “I know something that you don’t”, and this really pisses Shizuo off. 

Still, he wants to uncover the plot, to see if he is really needed here. He thinks that, perhaps, someone will need his help and his anger starts to melt. He steps off from the car and walks into the restaurant. 

The first thing that hits him is the smell. Everything smells like Izaya and he feels anger rising inside him. He also feels warmth, hotness, and hardness inside his pants. _Yeah, it is Izaya_. 

Izaya is at the last table in the corner that should be reserved for lovers who seek to be discreet; the romantic table with flowers and candlelight. There is a man with him, but the man’s back is facing Shizuo, so Shizuo cannot see his face. 

Something inside him is very much disturbed. He quickly looks around. Even if other tables have candles lighted and flowers on it, he is still very much agitated. He is angry, but the anger is not a typical one he gets. 

He looks again around and he notes that almost on every table there are only two people, a man and a woman. They all look like they are on dates. The restaurant has this atmosphere that screams luxury and romance. 

He looks at Izaya’s table again. It looks like the other hasn’t realized that Shizuo is here. _That is good_ \- Shizuo thinks, as he takes a better look at the man. He still can’t see the man’s face, but he wears a white suit. He looks like some rich person. He certainly gives that vibe. 

Shizuo can’t stop himself when he thinks that this person is somehow too old for Izaya. He feels even angrier now when he sees that the man is whispering something in Izaya’s ear. Shizuo feels something hot inside his chest; and, he is terrified as he identifies the cursed feeling. He is fucking jealous of this person. 

And, the mere thought of jealousy is ridiculous because even if he has been attracted to Izaya for years now, Shizuo doesn’t plan to ask him out, doesn’t plan anything really. He just wants to kill Izaya so he will be free from feeling something shameful as being hard for another man. 

So, why is he jealous? Izaya can sleep with whomever he chooses to. But, that thought also doesn’t sit well with him. Shizuo doesn’t want to be gay, doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a man, doesn’t want to have anything to do with Izaya; but, he also doesn’t want Izaya to be with anybody else. The hypocrisy of it hits him even more when he realizes that he doesn’t care that this is a man sitting here with Izaya. If it was a girl, it would be the same. So, it doesn’t have anything to do with Izaya liking men over women. It is about Izaya liking anyone other than Shizuo. 

Shizuo is one moment away from throwing something, a table perhaps, or a chair. He looks at the street sigh in front of the restaurant regretfully; it is simply too far. _The table will have to do_. 

So, he grabs it and throws it at Izaya and his date. He starts screaming Izaya’s name and when Izaya quickly dodges and says “Sorry Shiki-san, I need to take our business meeting short”, Shizuo smiles so hard and feel so much relief, as he remembers that Shiki-san is just a person Izaya does business with. 

He doesn’t acknowledge it. He also doesn’t acknowledge the fact that he feels a bit disappointed that Izaya does still probably like girls.

He chases Izaya and Izaya runs. He loses himself in a familiar chase. Everything around them starts to fade away. And, it is just them in an empty world. 

The wind feels good on his face, in his hair; and, he smiles so bright. He doesn’t remember the last time he has been this happy. So, he decides to let Izaya go, just this once. He looks at the sky and realizes that this was the first time he has chased Izaya when he wasn’t angry. It felt different. He didn’t want to kill him, he didn’t want anything really. For a short moment he felt free, without the burden of anger, hate, and despair. 

As he lies in his bed that night he thinks about Izaya with someone else. The jealousy runs hot in his blood and it feels suffocating. 

He decides that night that he needs to know whom Izaya is dating. He doesn’t ask himself why he needs to know that. He doesn’t think about it. 

He tells himself that he will be saving some unfortunate soul from a terrible fate that is linked to Izaya. He tells himself that he doesn’t want to be in that unfortunate soul’s place; and, he tells himself that he doesn’t want to know how Izaya’s lips taste like. 

After all, he hates Izaya and it is wrong to feel anything other than that towards a man. He doesn’t know why everything that he tells himself smells like lies, but everything does. That realization alone leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The next time Izaya steps in the cab, he is taken to some rotten bar. There are drunks all around him. And, they are not just any drunks; but, they are the worst type of drunks one can imagine; the ones who are indebted, the ones who sold everything for a quick drink, old men who are creepy, and young girls who have seen better days. Just like the last time when he took the mysterious cab, he is not sure why he is here; but, unlike the last time, he is determined to find out. So, he stays and waits.

There isn’t much to do. The humans around him are everything, but interesting; so, as he waits, he decides to take a drink. 

There is a reason why Orihara Izaya does not drink. In his mind being drunk is equal to being stupid. His senses are dulled and he isn’t as fast as he usually is. But, there is another reason that also does not go well with his job description. Whenever Izaya drinks his control slips so much; he can’t maintain any sort of mask; and, even worse, he is painfully honest; he can’t lie even if he wants to. Until now he has experimented with drinks only in the safety of his own apartment, but he has seen enough to know that he should not do this. 

One drink turns into two; two drinks quickly turn into three; and, before he knows, a mechanical bull in the back corner of the rotten bar seams so appealing that he cannot really resist further. _It is a funny thing_ \- he thinks, as he is moving closer to the bull. He wants to do this, he almost feels like he has to. 

One time he trolled Celty when he pretended to drive the motorcycle made from thin air. _This can’t be harder than that_ \- he thinks as he climbs on it. The crowd is cheering for him; and, in his drunken eyes, everything suddenly feels a little less shitty. 

The rhythm of music blends perfectly with the movement of the bull; and before he knows he is moving up and down, sliding in the saddle. He moans loudly and when he closes his eyes, he can almost imagine another beast beneath him. His dick starts to get hard and perhaps, he would be ashamed if he was sober; but, now, he just moans harder as he rubs himself on the saddle. 

His hands clench the thing so he wouldn’t fall. Yeah, everything feels better after a few drinks and imagination can be a powerful thing. He can almost swear that he sees Shizuo in front him in that same shitty bar. He laughs as he says in his most sultry voice: “Shizu-chan, I want to ride you next”. 

Izaya gets to see firsthand Shizuo’s shaking form, his hands clenching and unclenching; his face hot and red, his eyes sparkling with lust; and, when Izaya looks down he can see Shizuo’s dick making a tent in his pants. Yeah, Izaya thinks imagination is a powerful thing. He moans again, as he shifts in the saddle, and speaks louder.

“I am horny Shizu-chan, want to fuck me?”

Something seems wrong with his imagination as Shizuo gets even redder in his face. He thinks that his imagination should be better; he knows that the brute should either throw something at him, or take him to the nearest flat surface and fuck him hard. In his dreams, in his fantasizes it is always one or the other. More often than not it is both at the same time. So, Izaya stares at the image in front of him, as he painfully realizes that the person in question is the real Shizuo.

*********

That night Shizuo was walking by when he caught a glimpse of that cursed car that drove him last time to a restaurant where Izaya was. He wants to see the other again; so, he stops the car and climbs up in. He does not say any address and he just waits to be taken where Izaya is. He somehow knows that this is where he should be. 

This time the cab takes him to a shitty bar. Shizuo knows what kind of establishment this is even before he walks into it. He remembers going to similar places, if not this particular one, few times in his past with Tom-san, regarding his job. He isn’t sure what is Izaya doing here, or why is he here at all. But, as soon as he steps inside his brain turns blank at the familiar smell and at the sight that is almost taken from his dirtiest dreams. 

In mere seconds his body reacts. _This should be illegal_ – he thinks as he can’t tear his eyes away. In the corner of a bar there is a mechanical bull, and of all people in the world, Izaya is sitting on it, moving up and down. He looks hot. He looks more than hot. His face is a bit red and his eyes are closed. As he slides he moans and the sound travels through the music, through the air; and, it hits Shizuo like a ton of bricks. 

His hands are clenching and unclenching; his whole body is shaking and he does not have time to think how all this is wrong on so many levels. The lust fills him so fast that he starts to feel dizzy. He knows his face is red just as he knows that he is painfully hard in his pants. The sight of Izaya has always done that to him, but this time everything is a million times worse as Izaya says “Shizu-chan, I want to ride you next”.

Izaya’s voice is cutting through him and there is an electric feeling inside his chest. Izaya moans again, as he shifts in the saddle, and speaks louder.

“I am horny Shizu-chan, want to fuck me?”

Shizuo gets even redder in his face and he wants to make those few steps that are dividing them and take Izaya right here and there on the shitty bar counter with all of these people looking. He wants to trace the drop of sweat that slides on Izaya’s neck with his own tongue and lick it until there is only his saliva left on Izaya’s skin. 

He wants to bend Izaya in half, rip off his clothes and fuck him so hard that the both of them couldn’t get up the next whole week. But, the look on Izaya’s face hits him like a bucket of cold water and Shizuo can see that something shifted in Izaya; that something is different. He looks around and sees eyes ogling Izaya’s body, looking at something that is only his to look at, and he moves as fast as he can and takes Izaya down from that thing. 

At that moment his mind seems to clear a bit and he thinks about what he is doing. As soon as they are outside, in an alley in front of a bar, he pus the other down. He knows that everything is wrong and he feels so disgusted with himself for having thoughts about another man, about Izaya. He thinks that those thoughts are not normal; that they are wrong; that he is wrong, and not normal, and abominable. He knows it; but he looks at Izaya’s flushed face, at his eyes, at his mouth and he just leans in and kisses him so hard that everything hurts.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Izaya feels like he is stuck in the black and white movie that resembles one of his dreams. Everything is so sudden, and everything happens so fast. In one moment, he feels the sharpness of the outside air; and, in the next, there are Shizuo’s lips on top of his own, kissing him, biting him, making him feel more than he has ever felt. He thinks that if this is a dream he never wants to wake up. 

He takes a leap of fate and he dives in. He kisses just as sharp as the other is. He bites with his teeth and he licks the softness of the other’s mouth. It is as if he is a person who has escaped the desert and for the first time in months has seen the water. 

He doesn’t know what Shizuo is thinking or even if this is real. He just knows that he never wants to stop. His hands travel through the layers of other’s clothes, search, and find the skin. His nails are scratching, and moving, and marking, taking what they want. 

“God, I want you.” - He says as he looks Shizuo in his eyes; the warm color of chocolate looking back at him. 

Shizuo is baffled. He never wants to stop kissing Izaya. He knows this is wrong on so many levels, and he thinks that he is wrong. But, as soon as he looks at Izaya’s flashed face; and, as soon as he feels the other’s heat, he can’t help, but to think, that even if this is so wrong, it feels so right. 

Izaya’s lips start to move again, against the skin of his neck, and everything around him feels warm. He is sweating, and he is hornier than he has ever been in his life. All he sees, all he thinks about, and all around him has turned into one simple word; and, everything is Izaya. 

So, Shizuo can’t take it anymore, he turns Izaya around; so Izaya is now facing the wall, and he licks on his neck, and he bites. His hands are moving down, unzipping Izaya’s pants, and the other is moaning so loud that he thinks that someone from that shitty bar will hear them. He doesn’t want to be seen with one hand in another man’s pants by anyone. 

He is ashamed of his actions, but he also doesn’t want to stop; not now and not ever. And, he thinks that even if someone would see them, he still wouldn’t stop. He thinks that shame is a low price to pay for the heat in his stomach, for those red eyes, and for those lips. 

He bites on Izaya’s neck hard and he growls. He forgets about the bar, and he doesn’t think if he is loud. Izaya is sliding his ass on Shizuo’s groin and Shizuo doesn’t think when he says that he wanted to do this since he had first seen Izaya. 

Izaya moans and laughs at the same time. 

“I will kill you if you are lying, monster.” 

The words are sharp and Shizuo knows that Izaya is meaning them; but, Shizuo isn’t scared, and he doesn’t care. He is not lying, not now. But, Izaya isn’t finished, and now that he has started to talk, the words are leaving his mouth in a flow. 

“I want you to fuck me tonight. If this is a dream I don’t care, just fuck me hard, make it hurt, leave a mark.”

Shizuo doesn’t want to hurt the other; not now, anyway, when the anger that has never left him before, finally disappeared in the favor of a hot and a blinding lust. So, Shizuo does just that; in a matter of seconds, he slides Izaya’s pants and his underwear and the naked skin is staring back at him. His fingers grope and nudge, and he spits on his hand until it is nice and wet; and, he moves it to the rim of other’s hole.

He is breathing hard, and the air feels heavy when he pushes a finger into the other. Izaya moans, nearly screams, and the words start to flow again. Izaya is calling his name, telling him to push harder. 

“I want your cock inside me. Come on, monster, make me yours already.” 

For a second, Shizuo thinks that the person in front him is not Izaya; Izaya has never been this honest and Izaya would take every chance to make him lose it. But, then, Shizuo remembers that Izaya is drunk and he wants to stop. 

He doesn’t want to take an advantage of the other. It shouldn’t be right to do this, but it is. It is more right than anything Shizuo has ever done; he feels this in every bone of his body. Still, his movements stop; and, when Izaya feels this, he shivers. 

“Don’t you fucking dare, Shizu-chan. You will stop only when your sperm is in my ass. You will fuck me. You are going to take me hard from the behind, in this shitty alley. I want so much more, but even this is enough.” 

Izaya’s voice brakes and Shizuo’s vision is blurring. He is still turned on and painfully hard. He is still ashamed, and he still hates himself for who he is. But, he takes Izaya’s words and he feels them going under his skin. He will do anything Izaya wants even if it is to shout from a top of the building that he loves the other man. 

So, he spits again, right at top of Izaya’s hole and takes his fingers out. He pushes hard, and fast, and Izaya is screaming. Something inside him is breaking and he hugs the other. His arms are around him, caging him, never letting go. His body is right next to Izaya’s and Shizuo’s mouth is on Izaya’s ear. 

“I won’t ever stop.” Shizuo promises and he means it. Now that he has felt Izaya’s heartbeat behind the palm of his hand, and the warmth of Izaya’s insides, he won’t ever stop. Like a hungry beast he will always go back for more. 

He starts to move, slowly at first. Every push he takes is a bit faster, a bit more uncontrolled. He breathes hard over Izaya’s ear and he takes one of his hands, puts it on Izaya’s hip, and he whispers that he won’t let Izaya to ever leave him. 

Izaya laughs again. He hates being vulnerable, but he has let the strongest man trap him in his arms. One wrong move and he would break. But, Izaya has never cared about the danger of being physically hurt. He is much more caring about the other kind of pain. He laughs hard, this closeness between Shizuo and himself is not necessary for Shizuo to hurt him. The other had that ability from that first moment when they met each other. 

“I don’t want to leave, Shizu-chan. I want to stay here” - and Izaya is cursing his drunkenness, his inability to filter what he says and what he thinks; but then, Shizuo has always known who he is, and even if he screamed that he hates him, he never left. 

So, Izaya takes another leap of fate, and decides to let go. He is already to the point of no turning back. If this is not dream, but the reality; If Shizuo is really inside him, and holding him; he doesn’t want to live another day without this feeling. So, he can’t really go back to pretending. 

He has put his heart out for Shizuo to take, to have, or to crush; Shizuo’s choice really; and, he decides to go all out, to confess. So, he says “I love you”, and Shizuo stops. He is buried deep inside Izaya, and he is twitching, but he stops moving. 

Izaya keeps talking. Now, that he has started, he can’t really stop. He tells the other about his dreams, about what he has felt, and how long he has felt it. He threatens, and he swears that he will kill Shizuo if he leaves; and, he admits that he won’t ever let Shizuo go. 

Shizuo is silent for a long time. He doesn’t move, and he doesn’t breathe. His hands are still holding Izaya tightly as if they fear that the other will disappear. 

When the other’s words stop, he finally smiles. He is happy. He is content. He doesn’t know why he believes Izaya, but he does. And, he pushes in deeper and he starts moving again, his voice breaking apart. He growls on Izaya’s ear that he won’t ever leave, as he pushes harder and he keeps pushing until something inside him explodes and he comes hard. He is still moving; even if everything is so sensitive to the point of hurting, because Izaya hasn’t come yet. 

So, he pushes in and out, and he moves one hand from Izaya’s chest and puts it around Izaya’s dick. It should have been disgusting to touch another man in this way, but it isn’t; not when this is Izaya. 

He moves his hand in the rhythm of his thrusts. He can feel the other one breaking in his hands, so he does everything harder, and faster; and he grips Izaya’s hip stronger. Izaya is all but screaming and Shizuo can feel in exactly which second the other starts contracting around him, and Shizuo comes again, as the whiteness of Izaya paints his hand and marks it. 

He can feel that Izaya’s insides are full of him. Something primal awakens and he feels this possessiveness inside his chest. He won’t ever stop wanting to do this; he won’t ever stop wanting Izaya; even if it is wrong; because this is Izaya. So, all he can do is take a leap of fate, as he admits the three words that he has not ever spoken before, not even in his mind.

They feel so right. So, he repeats them once more. 

He hears the mirror response - the same three words; and, he knows; this is where he should be.


End file.
